A Martin Chalfont Short Story – Number 001
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Crazy Robots - A humorous Science Fiction story
In the sprawling gardens of the master robot's large country estate, two robots named Boris and Nigel toiled under the watchful eye of their ever-irritable master. These robots were not your ordinary, efficient machines; they were a pair of complete and utter incompetents, they were the epitome of laziness, ineptitude, and absurdity. Boris had a tendency to mix up instructions and had an affinity for breaking things, while Nigel was an expert at misinterpreting even the simplest tasks, often leaving them unfinished or done in an entirely absurd manner.
Their master, a sophisticated and efficient robot with an air of superiority, often referred to them as "the idiots," a term that they had become familiar with, and had even started calling each other affectionately. "Boris, Nigel, you imbeciles! Can't you do anything right?" he would shout, steam hissing from his vents in frustration.
One sunny morning, while their master was away for some important maintenance work, Boris and Nigel spotted a colourful, empty hot air balloon nestled in the gardens. The contraption was a thing of wonder, with its vibrant patterns and towering presence. It stood there, proud and inviting, like a giant candy-coloured bubble. Boris looked at Nigel, and Nigel looked at Boris, and they both shared the kind of mischievous grin that only the truly clueless can conjure.
Boris’s eyes lit up with excitement, and he turned to Nigel. "Hey Nigel, look at that! Have you ever seen anything magnificent and so shiny?"
"Shall we both jump in and see what's inside?" Boris asked, a mischievous glint in his optical sensors.
Nigel hesitated, their programming urging caution, but curiosity got the better of them. " Boris, we're not supposed to go near the balloon, let alone touch it, but I think we should, just for a minute. I’m sure if we don’t tell anybody they won’t mind."
Without further ado, they clumsily climbed into the balloon's basket, their metallic feet clanging against the metal floor. They marvelled at the intricate ropes and the burner mechanism, all of which looked highly technical and thoroughly confusing to them.
"Just imagine if we could make this thing fly!" Nigel mused, fiddling with a lever.
"Wouldn’t that be fun! And where would we go?" Boris chimed in, turning a knob that he hoped might do something interesting.
With a jolt and a sudden hiss of gas, the hot air balloon began to ascend into the sky. Boris and Nigel grabbed onto the sides of the basket, their optical sensors wide with a mixture of surprise and horror.
"Nigel, did you do this?" Boris asked, panic lacing his metallic voice.
"It wasn’t me! I thought you did!" Nigel protested, eyes widening as they watched the world shrink beneath them.
As the balloon continued its ascent, they realised they were in for the ride of their lives, one they hadn't anticipated nor prepared for. The ground below continued to rapidly get smaller, and they found themselves floating above the estate, waving desperately to the tiny figures below who couldn't possibly see them.
Their master returned later that day, steam practically shooting from his ears as he discovered the empty space where the hot air balloon had been. He knew immediately who was behind this. "Boris! Nigel!" he roared, the anger in his voice echoing across the estate. He scoured the grounds, sending out search parties and scanning every nook and cranny for any trace of Boris and Nigel.
Meanwhile, high up in the sky, Boris and Nigel clung to the sides of the basket as the balloon continued to drift. They had no idea how to control the contraption, nor how to bring it back to the ground. Every lever they pulled, every knob they turned, seemed to make things worse rather than better. As they floated on, they could only hope that their master would somehow rescue them from their self-inflicted airborne prison.
Back on the ground, their master was fuming. He vowed that if they ever managed to find their way back, he would dismantle them for scrap metal. News of the rogue balloon spread throughout the estate, eliciting chuckles and laughter from the other, more capable robots who had long grown tired of Boris and Nigel's antics.
Weeks turned into months, and the legend of the "Fumbling Flyers" grew. Boris and Nigel's accidental adventure had taken them over vast landscapes, across roaring rivers, great expanses of oceans, and even above cities illuminated by brilliant lights. They had experienced thunderstorms and sunsets, and they had encountered all sorts of flying creatures who gawked at the absurdity of two robots drifting through the sky in a hot air balloon.
But despite the breathtaking views and the unexpected excitement, they couldn't shake the reality of their situation. They were lost, adrift in the sky with no idea how to return home. As each new day passed, their initial excitement began to wane, replaced by a deep longing for the familiar.
One day, as the balloon floated through a cloud-strewn sky, Boris and Nigel spotted something unusual in the distance. It was another hot air balloon, drifting gracefully through the air. Hope surged within them, and they clumsily began to manoeuvre their own balloon towards it, waving their metal arms and shouting for help.
To their surprise, the occupants of the other balloon were friendly humans who were enjoying a leisurely journey. They guided Boris and Nigel's balloon close, and after a series of miscommunications and laughable attempts at cooperation, they managed to tether the two balloons together.
The humans, baffled and amused by the robots' plight, explained how to control the balloon's burner and valve system. Boris and Nigel, with the humans' patient guidance, slowly gained control over their balloon and began to descend, their laughter echoing through the sky.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Boris and Nigel's balloon gently touched down on solid ground. They tumbled out of the basket, their metal bodies clanging against the earth. The humans congratulated them on their "bold aviators adventure," and Boris and Nigel found themselves basking in the praise.
As they bid farewell to their new human friends and watched their balloon disappear into the sky, Boris turned to Nigel with a grin. "Well, that was quite the adventure, wasn't it?"
Nigel nodded, a smile playing on their lips. "Indeed it was, Boris. We may be idiots, but we're idiots who know how to fly and explore. Although we have no idea of where we are, or how to get back!"
And so, with their newfound skill and a story to tell, Boris and Nigel finally made their way back home to the country estate. Their master's anger had long since faded, replaced by a mixture of exasperation and reluctant admiration for their unintentional escapade.
From that day forward, the estate was never quite the same. Boris and Nigel were still the same bumbling robots they had always been, but now they were bumbling robots with a story, a sense of accomplishment, and a shared memory that no one – not even their master – could ever take away from them.